Weigh to go, Rachelle!

“Beauty isn’t measured in lbs” - Unknown

I’m Rachelle Ceburon, a woman who weighed 96 kilos and, after hearing harsh words, turned 61, a product of bullying and body-shaming and a doubter of herself.

"Ang taba-taba,", "naiwan sa kusina, and "kapag pumayat ka ang ganda mo—all the laughs and those judgmental eyes—are still here in my mind; the trauma will forever be in my heart.

I grew up as a bibo kid. I found myself dancing whenever people asked me to, on birthdays, at meetings de avance, or even at simple family reunions. I can still remember how I danced gracefully, hearing all the cheers and applause from the people around me and seeing the joy in their eyes. I know I was born for this—to make people happy. I just miss those times when I still do whatever I like without thinking about what other people will say, because when you grow up, everything will change. This is where you started to care about every detail in your life; the things that other people noticed about you will be kind of "reflective" and "offensive".

It's still fresh in my mind the exact scene when I was just going to sit on my chair in our classroom way back in 7th grade, but everyone seems to look at me and have a side-smile with their seatmates, even though there’s nothing funny at all. Yes, I’m offended. All of those hurtful words keep playing repeatedly in my mind. I don’t know, but I can also feel pain and have several complaints about my health physically, such as having a hard time breathing, high blood pressure, and multiple headaches. They’re alarming, of course, but none of them made me think of reducing the food I eat.

When I turned 16, I realized that I had to change something within myself. That’s when I started to diet. I began by having 1 cup of rice during lunch and eating biscuits at dinner. I allow myself to only eat three times a day, and that’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner—no in-between meals. I also do the "after 6 PM," which means you’re no longer allowed to eat when it’s already 6:00 in the evening. That seems so effective; from 108 kilos in grade 9, I turned 92 in grade 10. I just continued doing so and reached 83 kilos in 2018. I’m so happy at that time because, for me, I have come a long way already. I became complacent, not noticing that I started to have fun eating again. There were days that I ate rice for dinner, ate snacks, and doubled the rice I ate during lunch. I’m actually having fun, but not until... I have to check my weight again as part of the requirements for admission to college. I’m so disappointed that I saw 92 kilos as I stepped on the weighing scale. I told myself that time that I had to do something with it, so I enrolled in a workout session. It was funny because I only attended the first day and ghosted the instructor after that. I turned out hopeless about losing weight, accepted the fact that I’ll forever be like this, and embraced myself (even though I’m running out of confidence and will to go on). #SelfLove has been my motto. In 2019, I turned 96 kilos; that’s in December. I couldn’t do anything because occasions were on their way. Christmas, New Year, Fiesta, plus the numerous family gatherings

Hold on, you’re heading into the most important part of this written piece...

Come January 4, 2020, together with my friends we watched “Mutya ng Ternate” at the middle of the pageant we went out of the plaza to fetch one of our friends, on our way there I felt the need of my tummy to be re-fueled, so I stopped- by a mini store and bought “ONE chichirya”, that’s mang juan chicken skin by the way this is not sponsored. So, this is how the conversation goes,

Ako: Pabili po!

Tindera: Ano?

Ako: Ito nga po ( then points to the chichirya)

Tindera: Ilan?

Ako: isa lang po

Tindera: Bakit isa lang? sa laki mong yan, eh may kaibigan ka pa.

“BAKIT ISA LANG? SA LAKI MONG ‘YAN”

See, how I memorized the exact lines that the tindera have thrown on me.

That’s indeed a wake-up call. I’m offended, and it shookt the entirety of my life.

Kudos to “ate” that’s a game changer, and a life- changing phrase.

From then on, I told myself that I’m going to work extra this time. I firstly went back to my old routine, breads on breakfast, but only half cup of rice on lunch, and biscuit during dinner. No snacks; strictly no in-between meals. I have seen changes lately. (PS. I’M NOT RECOMMENDING THIS DIET, because I’m not an expert here; it just works on me.) Within just a month, I lost 4 kilos, then another 10 kilos after 3 months. So in January, I’m 96; in May, I’m 82. The original goal was to earn back the 83 kilos from 2018, but I surpassed that, so I decided to continue. In September, I’m 72 kls, and in December, I'm 67. The 67 kilos include a very lazy workout using the stationary bike and several attempts to walk and jog every morning. It slows down a bit, but I’m super happy with the outcome. I just continued, and this January 2021, I decided to stick with bread since they’re my comfort food, and I can easily feel "busog" with breads than rice. Just some facts based on what I’ve read through my research on Google and an article written by a nutritionist: it doesn’t matter if you're going to eat rice or bread; as long as it’s the right amount, both will be effective for your diet. My weight right now is 61 kilos, that’s a combined effort of diet, biking and fasting.

Well, I guess this is proof that words are really powerful.

Imagine Words pushes me to exert more effort on losing weight.

Words brought me to where I am right now.

Something that lapses in physical health can’t do; maybe I’m a fool in that part.

If you’ve reached this point, I just wanna say “Thank you!”

Discipline is a must.

OUR FLAWS WON’T MAKE US LESS OF A HUMAN.